An Interesting Place I Visited Essay
An amazing place that you visited
can anyone please correct my paragraph...
"and I'll never see any other place like the place that I saw"
"it was between high mountain s that were covered with the green grass"
"with the mountain s that were covered by the green grass."
"I took a lot of photos of the amazing natural scenery "
"it was an unforgettable day . "
A Visit to Italy
- Length: 648 words (1.9 double-spaced pages)
- Rating: Excellent
A Visit to Italy
The capital city of Italy is a very extraordinary place to visit. The population of Rome is well over two-million. The people there are very friendly and are extremely proud of their country. Rome is a beautiful bustling city that has a moderate cli mate. The temperature usually stays around eighty degrees. The main way of transportation is by bus.
The side walk cafes are very popular in Rome. The cafes were always populated with happy Italians and a few curious tourists. The most preferred cafe was the Cafe S. Petro. this cafe was in perfect walking distance from the Vatican city. The Vatica n city is were the pope lives. The main meals served at the cafes varied from pizza to tortillini. The pizzas were not exactly like Pizza Hut's pizza. They were crispy thin with very few toppings available. Most pizzas came with cheese, pepperoni and a watery tomato sauce. The tortillini had soft, medium-length, hollow noodles with more watery tomato sauce. Another favorite at the cafe was the lasagna which was unbelievably delicious. After having tasted the pizzas and the tortillini, I was not exp ecting the lasagna to be so tasty. The lasagna was packed full of hot meat, zesty cheese, and a tangy tomato sauce. It was not out of the ordinary to see Italians, instead of eating at the cafe, talking with their friends and sipping on hot cappucino.
The streets in Rome were always swamped with motor scooters, three-wheeled cars, and buses. Although, the main way of transportation are buses, Italians also scooted around on their motor scooters. The scooters were more convenient because the scoote rs could easily slip through traffic jams. The parking was very hazardous for people because some cars would be blocked in by a small car that was parked vertical between two horizontally parked cars. Car accidents were very common in Rome. When two pe ople had a car accident, they would just wave or yell at each other and drive hurriedly away. The police were not notified and there was no question of who would pay for the damages.
The worst part about Rome were the buses. These buses were jammed tight with people who were sweaty and excessively vulgar.
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Visit Italy Car Accident Sauce Cafe Tomato Preferred Degrees Meals Eighty
The buses were small in size, the color was a dull blue, and they contained only a few seats that were rarely available. The men on these buses were extremely vulgar in their actions. Because we had to stand so close, the men had chances to pick my pockets or place their hands on my bottom. Once this incident happened, I had to practically shove them off. This did not bother them, they would just move on to the next woman.
Over all, Rome is an exciting place to visit because it has so many attractions to offer. This trip will always be special to me because I got to see a different culture and had many entertaining experiences. I would advise anyone who was going to ta ke a trip to go to Italy because it is surely an amazing place to visit.
Commentary on Essay
This essay also received a "C."
The writer attempts to include too much information in the first paragraph, including comments on the area's climate, transportation, and the citizens' disposition. The paragraph gives little foreshadowing of the essay.
The writer inappropriately uses past tense in paragraph 2 because she has not yet established a setting. This second paragraph also contains spurious information. The writer does not identify the "we" in paragraph 4, obfuscating the potentially interesting incident. There is a comma splice in paragraph 4 and a subject/verb error in the same paragraph.
The writer employs few original or effective descriptives. The attempt at vivid descriptions in paragraph 2 reads like a poorly-written advertisement.